4 Ways to be More Likeable (That Most People Don’t Do)

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Likeability gives you an unfair advantage.

Being likeable not only allows you to build deeper social connections, but it also gives you an extreme upper hand in your professional life.

We all love to be around people we like, and it feels good to be liked by others.

So here are four ways to be more likeable that most people miss, despite how easy they are.

1. Ask questions.

I recently went to dinner with a couple of old friends. We had drifted apart over time, but I thought dinner would be a good way to catch up and connect again.

I spent the dinner hearing stories from my friends and engaging them in conversation, but by the end of the night, I realized I didn’t enjoy my time. I left thinking, “I’m never gonna do that again.”


Because I wasn’t asked a single question.

I felt like my two friends made no effort to get to know me better. I felt like they didn’t care about my life at all.

People won’t remember what you said; they’ll remember how you made them feel. And after that dinner, I realized they made me feel drained and uninteresting.

You must make others feel good if you want to be liked by them.

People like to feel interesting, so be interested.

You show interest by asking questions.

It doesn’t have to be anything complicated. Oftentimes, you can even just cheat off the other person by reversing their question back at them.

Just make sure you ask them something.

2. Follow up.

So you’ve asked questions and had a good conversation. Great! But that’s only the first step.

You must also follow up.

I learned this tip from my sister-in-law. She’s a quiet, introverted person, so being a social butterfly doesn’t come naturally to her.

While she was in med school, she needed to be liked by the people she was working with so she could make connections and get into the residency program of her choice.

So after any conversation, she’d write down facts about the person. Nothing creepy, she just wanted to remember a few things about them so she could follow up later.

And then the next time she’d see that person, she’d ask them about something she wrote down. Like how’d your daughter’s recital go?how was your trip to California?, etc.

Her tactic of making notes and following up won her huge success and likeability.

By following up on something a friend mentioned in a previous conversation, you show you were listening, which makes you more likeable.

3. Wag your tail.

I don’t mean literally.

If you’ve ever had a dog, don’t you love it when you come home to a wagging tail? Dogs are always so excited to see people, and it subconsciously makes us more excited to see them too.

You should also act excited to see someone. They’ll feel more excited to see you as well.

4. Address them by name.

This one’s simple.

All you have to do is occasionally say someone’s name in conversation. Do so naturally, of course.

When you say someone’s name, you acknowledge the other person and make them feel seen. Plus, you show that you remember their name, which is always nice.

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